Castles and Apathy

(A Friendster testimonial.) 

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a princess who was cursed at birth by a wicked witch, to have no friends. All the gentlemen in the kingdom who befriends her were to fall helplessly and maddeningly in love with her, and all the maidens were to treat her with scorn and jealous mockery as a consequence. So the princess grew under such circumstances, and naturally lived a very lonely life.

Dejected and exhausted, the lonely princess locked herself away in the castle’s tallest tower. There, she made friends with the castle fool, the Court Jester. She told him about her problems with all her suitors and all her enemies, but the jester just laughed at them all. The jester then taught the princess how to become apathetic, and eventually, the princess learned to just follow her heart in whatever she does, no matter how selfish her heart’s desires may be. And so when the first brave knight on a white horse came to take her away from her prison tower, she allowed herself to be rescued.

Unexpectedly, the princess started to fall for her knight in shining armor. Unfortunately, as she now lived outside the kingdom, her brave knight, regrettably, didn’t return her affections. Crushed, the princess returned to her tower home, and cried… and cried… and cried. And she became lonelier than she ever was.

Little did the princess know that since the court jester was also a gentleman, he couldn’t stop himself from loving the lonely princess, for that is her curse after all, therefore, it was inevitable. For the jester to see the princess in so much pain and sadness, simply broke his heart to a million tiny pieces. He decided to traverse into the depths of the enchanted forest, to seek out the wicked witch, and finally put an end to her evil curse.

After countless hours of a painstaking search, the jester found the wicked witch’s lair. When the witch learned of his story, she merely laughed maniacally at the cavalier pretender. She found it amusingly peculiar that there exists in all the land, an apathetic castle fool hopelessly trying to be a fairy tale prince. But the court jester didn’t care about her criticisms. All he wanted was to see the princess smile again, and to do this, her curse must be lifted.

Smug with abstruse certainty that the jester will fail, the wicked witch then chanted a counter-charm. “Only on the night when the moon shines full,” she began, “at the stroke of midnight’s hour, may true love be professed.” The jester looked on, and focused all his attention to the witch’s spell. “Only then will the curse be lifted, but if, and only if, pure love is what was confessed.” The jester was saddened. He knew the princess’ heart was recently broken, so she may not trust her heart to love again anytime soon. He hurriedly started to leave, but his plans to become informant for the princess was suddenly thwarted, when the witch magicked him into a disgusting gecko.

Meanwhile, the lonely princess was still crying over her misfortune. She looked up desperately to the night sky. As if in answer to her silent prayers, the first star of the night twinkled, and a small child with sparkling wings appeared before a disbelieving princess. He introduced himself as the princess’ fairy godchild. He quickly told the princess of the jester’s heroism and his unfortunate predicament at the moment. Touched by the jester’s valiant efforts, the princess realized what a fool she had been for not realizing that her true love had been right under her nose all along. It was the court jester she was in love with!

She hurriedly summoned for her green royal carriage, “Gladys, as the castle’s royal coachperson, I command you to bring me to the jester’s whereabouts within the secret confines of the enchanted wood. To the wicked witch’s lair!” And with that, the meager, but able coachperson raced their chariot to deep within the depths of the enchanted forest.

The princess arrived, and found the disgusting gecko, sprawled on a most dirty rock. And upon seeing what has now become of her dearly beloved jester, she shed her tears once more. She knew not how to reverse what the witch had done to the jester, and all hope lost, she knelt down the gecko’s side and planted a long, firm kiss on the amphibian’s slimy lips.

At that very moment, the town clock clanged midnight in the distance, and the dark clouds above parted to reveal a full moon casting its luminous beams upon them. A few seconds later and the two of them were engulfed in a shower of golden sparkles, and the gecko transfigured back into a human. The curses that had been cast upon them both by the wicked witch were broken! Her kiss was the princess’ own profession of true love. The princess was overcome by indescribable joy.

Just when the princess thought everything would be back to normal, the witch’s maniacal laugh reverberated once again throughout the surrounding trees in the enchanted wood. The princess feared that something wasn’t right, and ever the damsel, she turned to her foolish prince for security. She looked into the jester’s eyes, and tears welled up in her eyes. Gone was the love that once shone brightly in his eyes. He was after all, merely enthralled by the curse as well, and now that the princess’ curse was broken, he was jaded no more. He was never truly in love with the princess from the beginning.

Needless to say, the princess was mortified, and grew old and sad, while the wicked witch lived happily, ever after.

Author’s Note:

Let it be known that, unfortunately for me, karma had already struck me with its vengeful means, as I suffered from several fits of incessant coughing while writing this ludicrous testimonial…


~ by iamnotfrodo on July 1, 2006.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: