Tempestuous “@*%*#”

Mother Nature can be a pretty nasty bitch when it wants to be. That’s all I’m saying.

Last night, as I desperately prepared to cross my perpetually tardy self across the street to meet my friends, thunders roared, and lightning struck across the dark and heavy skies. And in just a matter of seconds, heavy rains submerged the street in wetness. This was no drizzle. There was no soft pitter-patter of watery droplets on your arms, clothes, or hair. I’m talking huge raindrops, no, globules of wet liquid streaking down from the skies and splattering every inch of ground it can get its hands on. The damned road was immediately flooded.

In a flurry of hurried impulsiveness, I said, “Screw it!” and jumped out from our building’s ingress’ roof thing and started what should have been a short walk. I took a step forward, frail umbrella clutched tightly in hand, looked to my right for any wary vehicles passing on the one-way street, and headed on out with full determination. I was mildly halted when the sidewalk came to an end and I was left with no other choice but to cross the flooded street. As I looked on, I could see the raindrop’s splatter jumping several inches above the water’s surface, and the collected water on the ground running off like white river waters along the cemented road, all of which are indicative of a pretty high waterline. For some reason I have yet to determine, my stubborn-assed self decided my mind was only playing tricks on me since it was relatively dark even with the orange glow from scattered streetlamps. So I took my first ginger step forward, on tiptoe even, not to gauge the water level, but to make a run for it. At once, the fabric of my slip-on sneaker started to absorb the water molecules of the grimy semi-flood, and as I muttered a meek “Oh, shit!” to no one in particular, I brought my other foot in front of my other foot, and as I saw it make a big splash upon breaking the surface of the runny waters as it searched for solid ground, I merely cried a quiet “Aaahh!” as panic crept up my mind. Frantically coming up with my next move, I came to the conclusion that since my second step landed on deeper waters, and my sneaker completely soaked as opposed to my other foot-filled shoe, that spot was probably the deepest part of the flooded road. I decided to take a bigger step to sort of get me across faster, all the while thinking that the waters would be lower. But as my foot connected with the paved road underneath the huge splash it made, I was outraged to find that the water level had only gotten higher there. Now, not only are both my feet soaking wet, part of my leg and pants is too. When I realized this, my idiocy even made me decide to just go back, so for an entire minute and a half, I was standing there, my body clearly torn as it went one way then the other while I debated on my next move. Feet firmly planted on the ground, the water had started to creep up both my legs now as the rain continued to pour down on me. I decided to just walk the rest of the way in big, hopping steps, each time thinking the waters would recede as I walked on. Alas, it never did, and the water level just got higher and higher. As I stood there to survey the damage, car headlights blinked as a signal to me. I looked at the source to find a parked car, whose driver was laughing hysterically over my humiliation. I could only glare back before I turned around and walked away to meet with my friends, all the while nursing my poor, mortified ego.

In the end, I got out physically unharmed, emotionally outraged, with grayer shoes, and two-toned jeans as the water got me mid-calf… and nine hundred and twenty pesos worth of new shoes and socks. Argh!

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~ by iamnotfrodo on September 8, 2006.

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