Chromosomal Dud

zerophilia.jpg

Saw the 2006 indie comedy flick, Zerophilia, for the very first time the other day on DVD. It was… interesting, to say the least. Ah, who am I kidding? The movie’s plot was freakin’ weird! Ack!

The movie starts off with Luke (Taylor Handley – Dawson’s Creek, The O.C., The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) having his very first sexual experience — a one night stand with a british stranger who runs over his tent while he’s out on a camping trip. Once back home, he meets a girl, Michelle (Rebecca Mozo), who he instantly hits it off with. On their very first date he starts having “symptoms”, that left him blowing off his date with Michelle. As he tries to get back in her good graces, he finds his “symptoms” recurring more frequently. Desperate, he tells his brother Keenan (Dustin Seavey – Jericho) about his dilemma. Keenan then consults a doctor, Sydney (Gina Bellman – Coupling), who then reveals that he has an extremely rare genetic disorder called ‘Zerophilia’ which is activated upon first sexual encounter. It turns out that these symtoms will forever continue to manifest everytime he is turned on, which is why he keeps getting them around Michelle. What follows is a series of sexually implicit scenarios and confusing gender-bender events for poor Luke. In the end, all he can really do is identify which team he actually wants to play for. Indeed, sex changes you, and in this case, literally.

luke.jpg   michelle.jpg   sydney.jpg

This movie is equipped with the kind of stuff that makes a movie original. The idea alone that you can “self-evolve at will” is so unheard of, after all. At first I even thought that it might be true, as the movie came with a sort-of disclaimer about how the International Organization of Zerophiliacs were against the release of this movie. I honestly didn’t find this movie SO bad, but I felt that it failed to deliver on so many levels as a comedy. And that’s such a shame, too, as the movie was obviously peppered with these incredulous moments from start to finish that could just as easily have been laugh-out-loud funny. Except they weren’t. I think Martin Curland (who played both writer and directorial roles) is responsible for that shortcoming. As a review by V.A. Musetto on Rotten Tomatoes says, “There’s plenty of material here for a dark comedy, but director Martin Curland isn’t up to the job.”

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~ by iamnotfrodo on October 7, 2007.

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