Life – Life = Evanescence

Makati City. A clear haven for urbane sophisticates, dare I even say, not unlike myself. With everything practically within an arm’s reach, it’s no wonder more and more people are falling in love with this place. I myself have more than once proclaimed how Makati is my Manhattan. Not surprisingly, many agreed.

But… I find that Makati is fast losing its luster. I’m no longer blinded by the bright lights. My ears have more than just adjusted to the noisy din of the busy corporate streets, they’re now just numb. The hustle and bustle of the everyday jostling crowd has merely become commonplace you sometimes even wish to escape from.

Escape.

I’ve been telling myself how I crave it for days, weeks even. It’s probably become my favorite word now. I need it. Maybe I even want it more.

“He’s hardly a man at all. Just a collection of bodily habits, eating, breathing, relieving himself, muttering in his sleep… Don’t you see how he’s been reduced to nothing?”

– Clara van den Meer, Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister (Gregory Maguire)

I used to think that Makati will make all my dreams come true. But now I’m not so sure. In a nutshell, Makati’s been unwarrantly cruel to me. I’m nowhere near defining myself, or realizing what I want to become when and if I grow up. If anything, I feel more and more lost in the suddenly seeming exponential crowds of this city than I’ve ever felt before. I’m more invisible than I’ve ever been. I’m fading down to nothing. I’m figuratively slipping away into my very own demise.

The reality is that there’s nothing grounding me here, and if fate would throw me a bone and some opportunity were to whisk me away to a foreign land, I would gladly accept. Makati has especially been unkind to me in the employment department. And the same could be said with my social and love lives. To say otherwise would be a fat stinking lie.

Makati has failed me.

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~ by iamnotfrodo on June 6, 2008.

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