Couch Potato-ing

Since my lameness has reached an all-time high these days, I decided to give you, my one or two readers, yet another dose of retardation tonic. I’m gonna talk about my recent favorite Tv show discoveries! Yay!

Thaaat’s right. Laugh it up. Assholes.

Hell-A magazine blog number one. Hank hates you all. A few things I’ve learned in my travels through this crazy little thing called Life– one, a morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness. Two, I probably won’t go down in history, but I will go down on your sister. And three, while I’m down there, it might be nice to see a hint of pubis. I’m not talking about a huge 70’s playboy bush or anything, just something that reminds me that I’m performing cunnilingus on an adult. But I guess the larger question is, why is the City of Angels so hell-bent on destroying it’s female population?

– Hank (Californication)

Californication (Showtime). My new favorite show. This one took me by surprise. I thought it would be about something else besides the obvious, but no. It’s by Showtime, what do you expect? They’re notorious in this genre for Tv shows. Must be a really tough job for David Duchovny, his role here, what with all the f*ckiing and sh*t. But on a less perverse note, the show boasts of superb acting from the cast. Reminds me of indie films, actually. The script is also very well-written, as it should be since Duchovny’s character’s a writer (okay, a novelist). And come on, who doesn’t enjoy stories about scornful apathetic writers, huh? Wicked cool, this show. The substantial amount of sex and nudity doesn’t hurt either.

Sucky Synopsis: Novelist Hank Moody (David Duchovny) is a bit of a douchebag. He f*cks around, drinks around, and he just doesn’t give a sh*t. But through his obsession with sex and drugs, and his unyielding apetite for beutiful women, he finds his life unraveling before his very eyes. As he tries to juggle his dying career as a one-hit wonder and his desperate attempts to salvage his relationship with his former girlfriend Karen (Natascha McElhone) and their daughter Becca (Madeleine Martin), more complications arise as he gets himself involved with Karen’s fiancee’s sixteen year-old daughter Mia (Madeline Zima), who has a penchant for stealing his works.

Chuck (NBC). In one word, awesomeness. The wit, the humor, the dork factor, the mild spy violence, the sexy blonde agent-pretending-to-be-the-girlfriend bit, everything! The premise is somewhat reminiscent of Reaper, another show I love, except in place of the supernatural stuff, you get spy action, and instead of Work Bench (a parody for “Home Depot”) you get Buy More (a parody for “Best Buy”). But whatev. Love it!


Sucky Synopsis: Chuck Bartowski (Zachary Levi) couldn’t be any more pedestrian. He got kicked out of Stanford because of a cheating scam he was set-up in by his former bestfriend and roommate in college, Bryce (Matthew Bomer), and is now working for the local electronics retailer with his pesky bestfriend Morgan (Joshua Gomez). He is also living under the same roof as his sister Ellie (Sarah Lancaster) and her husband “Captain Awesome” (Ryan McPartlin). But all this changes when he receives a mysterious e-mail from Bryce, whom he loathes, and suddenly he acquires all the top-secret information of the US government inside his head. Now every enemy of the CIA and NSA is after him, and he’s forced to go undercover with the undeniably hott secret agent Sarah (Yvonne Strahovski), who poses as his girlfriend, much to his “Nerd Herd” colleagues’ bewilderment, and the brusque major Casey (Adam Baldwin), who poses as a “Buy More” employee.

Pushing Daisies (ABC). Totally ghay, but hey, what can I say? …Alrght, alright, I’m laying off the rhyming. Seriously though, the sheer cleverness of the script here as well as the unique quirky characters is what got me to like this show. This “forensic fairy tale” dramedy is fresh and light-hearted, and the witty back-and-forth banters remind me a bit of Gilmore Girls, a show which I also immensely enjoyed, as embarrassing as that is to admit. It’s almost enough to compensate for the amount of cheese that comes with this show. It’s cute, is what this show is. Seriously, give it a shot.


Sucky Synopsis: Pie-maker Ned (Lee Pace) is different from most people. He could mysteriously bring the dead back to life with a single touch, another touch and they die permanently. If he doesn’t touch that which he had brought to life within the span of a single minute, someone or something else will have to randomly die in its place. When private investigator Emerson Cod (Chi McBride) found him and his mysterious capabilities out, he seeks him out as a business partner. Together, they solve murder crimes by bringing the victims back to life and asking them who their murderer was, and then claim the reward after. Their situation suddenly becomes more interesting, to say the least, when Ned’s childhood sweetheart, Charlotte “Chuck” Charles (Anna Friel), becomes a murder victim, and the pie-maker suddenly finds himself unable to bring her back to death, thus resulting in someone else’s ultimate demise. Ned brings her to his home and life in secret, much to the dismay of Emerson and one Olive Snook (Kristin Chenoweth), who works at Ned’s pie restaurant (The Pie Hole), and is hopelessly in love with him.

Greek (ABC Family). I was alerted to the existence of this show by THE Baddie, in one of his awesome posts on his awesome blog. And really, who wouldn’t enjoy this show? It’s mildly entertaining enough to sedate my troubled, lonely mind, and it’s just plain fun to watch! I wish college was that fun for me. *cries*

Sucky Synopsis: Rusty Cartwright (Jacob Zachar) has been a geek his entire life, and he’s sick of it. He is convinced that his way out of that is to join Cyprus-Rhodes University’s Greek System. His highly popular sister Casey (Spencer Grammer) is against it, naturally, as she refuses to be associated with a dweeb for family. He gets pledged for Kappa Tau Gamma fraternity eventually, and as he struggles to maintain balance between the two very different worlds of brotherhood and geekdom (he refuses to major in anything easier than his first choice of Polymer Science), exposés and scandals ensue. Suddenly, college isn’t just about fun, booze, and debauchery anymore.

The Big Bang Theory (CBS). Funny, but most of the dialogue is lost on me. This show is chock-full of nerd jargon. Now I’m a self-confessed dork, but half the time I’m like, “Huh?” And when it’s not that, I go, “The what now?” Yeah, better prepare yourself. Regardless, the superior level of intelligence involved with this sitcom won’t hinder you from liking it. You’ll find yourself rooting for the geek to get the hot chick in no time.


Sucky Synopsis: Genius physicist Leonard (Johnny Galecki) lives with his equally genius roommate, bestfriend, and colleague, Sheldon (Jim Parsons). Their routinary lives suddenly get thrown off-course when beautiful waitress and “cheesecake-scented goddess” Penny (Kaley Cuoco) moves in across the hall from their apartment. Leonard falls hard for her, and over failed attempts to win her affections, and Penny’s string of bad boyfriends, she eventually begins to see the potential that was in him all along.

Fallen (ABC Family). This three-part mini-series about angels holds a certain cult appeal to it. It boasts of some spectacular special effects, and it has quite an interesting premise. The last battle between the lead and Lucifer was a little anti-climactic though. Lucifer wasn’t as bad-ass as he could’ve been, in my opinion. But still, this show is recommendable to say the least.

Sucky Synopsis: Aaron Corbett (Paul Wesley) is a good orphaned boy in high-school who’s struggling to find himself. On his eighteenth birthday, he exhibits strange abilities such as the ability to hear thoughts and to understand animals. He soon discovers that he is in fact a Nephilim, a creature of abomination born from the consummation of a human and a fallen angel. The Powers, angels on Earth who hunt the Nephilim, soon come after him. As he fights for his life, his purpose as the Redeemer of the sins of the fallen, that they may once again return to paradise, becomes apparent. As he realizes his potentials and capabilities, he meets friends who help him in his encounters with the Powers, Camael (Rick Worthy) and Vilma (Fernanda Andrade). In spite of himself, Aaron doubts the nature of his abilities, fearing that they might be wrong. Under the suggestions of Azazel (Hal Ozsan), they journey to the “Light Bringer” in search of answers. But as Aaron reach their destination, he is quick to learn that the “Light Bringer” isn’t someone they can trust after all.

Dirty Sexy Money (ABC). A show possibly inspired by everyone’s favorite toy dog-loving heiress and sex tape celebutant. Lives like that really make for some nice television, don’t you think? Although in Dirty Sexy Money’s case, it could be better, if I’m being honest. But throw in a little murder mystery, and you’ve got yourself a hit; which is exactly what this show did.


Sucky Synopsis: Do-gooder lawyer Nick George (Peter Krause) swore he would never come near the extremely wealthy Darlings ever again. But with his father’s sudden and suspiciously mysterious death, the Darlings have asked him to take his place as their personal lawyer. He convinces himself that he’ll be able to help so many people in need with the money the Darlings will be paying him, and reluctantly agrees. Within his first day on the job, he is quick to realize the difficult position he was thrust upon. He suddenly finds himself torn between the Darling family and their many petty squabbles, and his own thriving family, much like his late father had been, much to his utter disappointment. But while Nick contemplates quitting, information that may just prove his theory that his father’s death was not an accident at all, but had in fact been carefully crafted, suddenly surfaces. Nick decides it’s best to stay with the Darlings, and use them and their resources to find the truth behind his father’s untimely death.

Good morning, Hell-A In a land of lotus-eaters, time plays tricks on you. One day you’re dreaming, the next your dream has become your reality. It was the best of times, if only someone had told me. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned. My family goes on without me, while I drown in a sea of pointless pussy. I don’t know how I got here. But here I am, rotting away in the warm California sun. There are things I need to figure out, for her sake at least. The clock is ticking. The gap is widening. She won’t always ‘love me no matter what’.

– Hank (Californication)

~ by iamnotfrodo on July 12, 2008.

One Response to “Couch Potato-ing”

  1. My friend has mentioned Big Bang Theory several times, so I’m bound to give it a shot. Dirty Sexy Money sounds…sexy. I wish I had time to watch all these movies and shows, though. Meh.

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